Sunday, April 10, 2011

10 Most Annoying Couples

Just to humor myself, I came up with the 10 Most Annoying Couples list.

*Disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions and should also not be taken too seriously

1. The "I will die if I don't spend every second of my day with you" couple.
This includes but is not limited to couples that:
  • Can't even go to the grocery store alone. 
  • If they go a whole 24 hours without seeing each other, curl up in the fetal position because they just can't handle the DISTANCE!
I don't care who ya are, everyone needs "me" time. I know if I don't get "Katy" time it feels like I am a volcano that will erupt with searing lava of evil glares and snide remarks.

2.  The "we're so in love that we have to broadcast it to the world by fondling each other in public" couple.
O-em-gee, this one really irks me. I am talking about the ones that literally just can't keep their hands off each other and just exhibit WAY too much PDA. Not only does it make everyone around them feel uncomfortable and awkward, but it also makes them seem like they're desperate to validate their relationship.

3. The "please don't tag this picture of me on facebook or my girlfriend/boyfriend will get mad" couple.
 If your significant other can't handle the fact that you socialize and spend time with members of the opposite sex in a fun and innocent manner, then you should probably reconsider their sanity. Also, if you find yourself saying the above statement anytime a camera is pulled out for a pic of you and another girl/guy then you should reconsider your own sanity.

4. The "we never fight" couple.
First response: HAHAHAHA!
For starters, any healthy relationship is going to have some fights in it. That means you are actually communicating. It might not be in the most productive way all the time, but you're trying. True, there is that honeymoon phase where everything is blissful and perfect, but if your relationship is progressing into a substantial relationship you are bound for some skirmishes and disagreements. However, if it's often then see #6

5. The "our relationship emerged from him cheating on his ex-girlfriend with me, and I just can't believe he's cheating on me now!" couple.
We'll call them Ed and Shirley.  Ed was cheating on his then long term girlfriend with Shirley. Ed broke up with that girlfriend to be with Shirley. Ed then cheats on Shirley and Shirley is in the corner of the party boohooing because she's in SHOCK that Ed would do such a thing because they are so in love! Then to top it off, Shirley stays with Ed because "it won't happen again".  However, we all know it did. A lot. Shaking my head.

6. The "it's only on days that end in 'y' that we fight" couple.
As mentioned above, fights happen in relationships, but if you find yourself preparing each day for the next relationship battle, then maybe you should reevaluate it. I'm sorry, Jordan Sparxx, but love does NOT always feel like a battlefield.

7. The "I actually don't know if we're dating right now" couple.
Yea we were all pulling for Rachel and Ross and Carrie and Big, but in reality, it doesn't work like that. On again and off again couples just make no sense. I agree sometimes couples do need a break for a variety of personal reasons but that's one break. Not 20. 

8. The "incognito" couple.
Ya know, the ones that think their slyness is worthy enough for a CIA career. I'm not sure why people do it, maybe they think that their being together is a such a powerful combination that it will create a sequence of events that will forever change the universe so it's best to keep it a secret. Sorry buddies, but everyone has known for weeks.

9. The "I don't want to break up because I don't want to be single" couple.
That's like saying, "I don't want to be the only one who didn't, so sure I'll drink the arsenic laced Kool-Aid". Enough said.

And the last, but not least,...

10. The "we're so much better than that" couple.
This is pretty much every couple in existence. We all think we're the best couple to exist since Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. I'll admit it, Steve and I are guilty of it:
Me: Did you hear about what happened with Alfalfa and Darla?
Steve: Yea! That's so ridiculous.Who would do that??
Both of us (with a smirk): We're so much better than that.

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